Ex-marine Kyle Odom was arrested on Tuesday after shooting a prominent preacher twelve times in Idaho after claiming that the padre was in cahoots with reptilian aliens from Mars that have been here “long before us” have technology “millions of years ahead of ours.” These aliens had been harassing him for about two years after he contacted one during a meditation session. These hyper-sexual, paranoid aliens rule the Earth and have made President Obama their sex slave — a species of “amphibian-humanoids” that include dozens of U.S. politicians.
“The Martians came to Earth here before humans, live underground and bred humans so they can walk among us,” Odom wrote.
This blog was contacted by Ubbesk, the supposed leader of the alien species who wanted things to be cleared up.
“We have never contacted this man, Ubbesk said, and I have 4 witnesses that can tell you I was at a spring training game in Mesa on the day I supposedly contacted Mr. Odom.”
Ubbesk then went on to say that he has high hopes for the team this season and he is highly disappointed in the play of Billy Butler.
“The guy is a disgrace to the human species…I will never figure out why humans feel the need to consume so much pre-packaged crap.”
I wasn’t exactly thrilled nor agitated when I heard about the Athletics signing free agent Billy Butler to a 3 year, 30 million dollar deal. He was fun to watch when the Royals made their run to the World Series, yet in the end he is nothing more than one of those charismatic players that fair-weather fans clamor for (that shtick may work in KC, but not in Oakland–where you must produce) but really doesn’t add much to your team. Obviously the Athletics are hoping that he returns to his 2012 form when he hit 29 dingers with 107 RBI’s.
Butler’s stats last season were unacceptable for someone who plays DH/1B with only 9 HR’s. I’m not sure where the Bill James disciples stand on the issue, but I stand firm on my belief that the hot corners should have a little bit of pop. (he has–in James’ terminology– “old player skills,” which means someone who hits for average, is slow and not overly dependent on the home run.) As readers of this blog may or may not know, I am NOT a big fan of plodding players that clog the bases, essentially making them worthless base-runners unless they get on with no outs–the Bobby Hill look-alike also grounds into a lot of double plays leading the league twice.
In the end, the Oakland ball-club is paying a player that may have had his best days behind him the highest that he’s EVER going to be payed. It’s a classic case of giving a player his money for stats that haven’t been produced for your team and that may never be re-produced. Let the fans have fun and kick the tires on their new car for a while, yet I see no reason to get over-stimulated. (my cup of coffee did that quite well) This is nothing more than change for the sake of change…or perhaps owner Lew Wolff wants to pacify the fans who think of him as Satan by “giving a dog a bone.”